Chapter Eight: Brother's release..

Brothers in life and death.

  You were given three Brothers and one Sister in life.  You are the second child, second Son, and the one whom became my Father.  Now we have learned of your younger brother's possible passing.  I wonder just how much it is affecting you right now.  Can your mind wrap its self around the knowledge he may leave us before you do?

      October 31, 2015 he left you behind to struggle with the remnants of a shattering mind.  Do you mourn the loss of him?  I wish you could tell me how you feel because right now I cannot tell if you feel anything.  That isn't anything new because when your Father passed away you didn't express any emotions at all.  I haven't really cried for Uncle Monte yet but I think that is because I know his mind is again whole.  I desperately want yours to be that way too but the only way for that to happen is your DEATH.    Why does it have to be death that makes you whole again?  Why can't we find the cure tomorrow?  Why do dementia and Alzheimer's have to exist?  These are questions that no one can answer which makes my heart breaks into a thousand pieces.

   Memories of you two growing up are slowly fading your mind and mine of growing up with you as my Father.  Why is it I wasted so much time not building a close relationship with you?  It is too late now for the sands have slipped down into the abyss of our hourglass.  In a blink of an eye 48 years have passed us by without either wanting to repair this broken bridge of ours.  You and Uncle Monte were two of a kind that no one can replace.  Each time you two got together you both had to be right about every subject matter and the rest wanted to run away but we didn't.  We are going to miss those discussions and it won't be just because Uncle Monte is gone but part of you is already gone too.


     April 29th was Uncle Monte’s birthday and my Father thankfully didn’t ask my Mother to call him to wish him a Happy Birthday.  One thing about dementia is that you lose track of which day it is because you stopped wanting to know if today is the 1rst or 31rst.  I wished him a Happy Birthday as I do my late Grandparents because for me that is a way to say I love you and celebrate the life that had here on Earth.  I shall continue walking on Earth a while longer while trying to keep the memory of loved ones alive for as long as I take breath.  I love you Uncle Monte and I know you’ll soon see your Brother again but until then know we are taking good care of him.  Cherish them, you, and all of life even the bad patches of roads you walk for they make up who you are.  

Love & Light.